Daily Life, Musings of sorts

A BLANK PAGE

December 30, 2014

“We will open the book. Its pages are blank.

We are going to put words on them ourselves.

The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year’s Day”.

~Edith Lovejoy Pierce.

Last year, on January 4th I wrote this list at a workshop.

I went straight home. I started a blog, I have written more this year than I ever have in my life (81 posts and a few articles), I have started my freelance writing business on the side of my full-time job, and I have plans to volunteer overseas in 2015.

So, I am not doing too bad on the list so far. Not sure about the Iron man, and more cats, (unless I want to get divorced, which I don’t.)

What difference does a year make?

In hindsight, not much. But when you look at this list, I am much further along it than I was before. I have done a lot of self growth this year, it’s actually been the hardest, the best and the worst year of my life. It’s probably been more of a ‘working inward’ year, rather than a list of things. And that is okay, because it was bloody hard and now I am out the other end.

I got very anxious at the start of the year, I went a bit cray cray. After a long period of hesitation, I went on antidepressants. I met an amazing therapist and talked about my shit. My ABSOLUTE anxiety about having children, but the guilt in feeling that I should… because think I should do what EVERYONE does, even though my gut tells me that my life path is meant for something else.

Guess what I figured out this year?

I don’t have to do anything!

Really? Light bulb moment.

And something else –  I don’t have to choose the course of my life right now!

Really? Another Light bulb moment. 

Guess what it’s also okay to change your mind!

I am no longer freaked out about having a baby or not, or doing my head in constantly about the decision. You have noticed that blog posts like this one, and this one, are much less frequent. I am less guilty about the choices I make, and less could of – should have – would have thoughts take up my brain space these days.

I got a bit fat, and I didn’t give a shit, because I acknowledged I was busy doing other stuff, rather than running marathons, counting calories and worrying about being skinny all the time. Guess what? No one else gives a shit when you get a bit fat. I am on a health kick again now, because I WANT to be, not because I feel like I HAVE to, and sweating every day is oh so good for my mind as well as my soul.

So, what am I going to fill up my blank pages with in 2015?

Career  I wish to work on my freelance writing, to have more articles published, and to achieve a better work life balance, by cutting down on office time and taking up some casual wellbeing work (watch this space)! And write my cat book. And give this blog a little more loving. And go to the problogger conference. And become a famous writer/ blogger/ advocate / cat lady author.

Health – A long stint with out the booze, a new training regime and  getting back to basic food, so I can be my foxy fit self again. Meditate more. (More, more, more!) Read. Watch less TV. Drink less coffee.

Relationship – HOT dates with The Ginger Hunk. Shag outside. (Sorry Husband #nofilter again.) Setting aside real time for real conversations. Being nicer to The Ginger Hunk, because he is amazing and the kindest, loveliest person in the land. Less couch sitting and talking in a rush about important things. Eventually win the argument to get another cat. he he he.

Finances –  Stop. Buying. Coffee. Daily. Savings = $1850 per year.

Other Get Sasha to finally sleep on my lap. She’s one edgy little cat.

What are you going to fill your pages with in 2015?

Anything is possible!  

 

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  • Jess

    I tell myself daily (DAILY!!!) that I’m going to give up coffee. So. Damn. Impossible. Good luck with that hahaha. I absolutely love your blog and can’t wait to read it in 2015… as well as all the other stuff that you get paid to write. Wahoooo!

  • Ha

    You did well last year! Got to give yourself more credits! <3

  • Hugzilla

    I am way too weary to even think about this. I have two things I need to do right now so I’ll stick with those: go for a run and write a blog post. Shooting for the stars next year!! LOL.