Those that have known me for a long time, know that I used to be a compulsive planner.
I had everything booked out months ahead, from coffee catch ups, to dinners, to sporting events, to savings goals.
Some of it sticks a little from those days. (I may have a laminator in my house. And at work. But that is another story.)
But in the last few years. I have let all that shit go. Leaving my job with nothing organised yet is probably like the final hurrah.
Suddenly, I can live without plans. For a little while anyway.
I don’t know why I was always after the next thing. I was never content just being.
When I was with my ex, I had our whole entire life planned out. How many kids we were going to have. When we were going to get married. The entire wedding. It was all sorts of vanilla with nothing exciting, no room for anything sporadic. I was so anxious about it not working out. I so desperately had to have these things working out. Yet I was all sorts of unhappy.
Maybe I knew deep down that the two of us, were not enough, without all those plans keeping us together.
Then came the wrong way around love story, and my plans flew out the window.
I knew one thing, and that was that I wanted to be with the Ginger Hunk.
Suddenly, I didn’t have any five-year plans anymore.
I think I was so unhappy before that I was just filling up life with stuff and plans so that I left no space for anything else. I didn’t have to think about my purpose or goals, or if I was truly happy. It was always onto the next thing, without even thinking. Without even stopping to ask – why?
So now I know a few things. A few important things.
I know where I will be for the next six months.
I know what I want my life to be.
I know I am loved by The Ginger Hunk, my family and friends. (They ain’t going anywhere, no matter where I go.)
I know I don’t want kids for now (but who knows how I might feel in a few years time.)
I know my weekend plans for the next few weeks.
And so it seems that I have shifted from a compulsive planner into a bit of a drifter.
So different from the spreadsheets I had many moons ago!
Are you a planner or a drifter?
Have you changed your ways?