Tonight I was thinking about how far I have come in the last six months. It’s been the hardest and best year of my life.
Starting to write this blog and working out what makes me happy has done me wonders.
I worked out how much things have changed because The Husband has gone to Bali this week. (Actually for two weeks.)
While I MISS HIM A LOT, the old me would have been freaking out and things would have been so different.
Lets look at a few scenarios over the last week and see what the old me would have done.
Scenario One. Ginger hunk in Bali.
Old me. Shitty on the phone. Shitty on text messages. Jealous. Whiny. Sulking.
New me. I miss the Husband yet I am embracing the alone time and getting on with my stuff. Stoked that he is on his first overseas work trip. Excited that he is living his dream of taking photos from the sky. Asking lots of questions about his day and his trip, instead of being disinterested and jealous. Telling everyone how proud I am instead of how much I wish I was there.
Scenario Two. Dinner with girlfriends in Manly.
Old me. Girlfriend one announces her and partner are purchasing huge house. Reaction. Jealously. Girlfriend two announces she bought a nice apartment. Reaction Jealously. Girlfriend three is training for an iron man. Reaction. Jealousy and FOMO followed then by thoughts of getting fat.
New me. I actually felt happy for all of them with no self comparison. I am grateful for my small and manageable mortgage instead of said huge house. Happy to say that I am satisfied with my fitness goals and my ability to have time focus on other things.
Scenario Three. Birth of friends second baby and the announcement of another pregnancy on Facebook.
Old me. Would have freaked out. Then had a panic that I am not ‘there’ yet. Then I would have been left feeling guilty about my non decision about motherhood.
New me. So happy for both of them and can’t wait to squeeze the new little muffin. (Without the chest pang this time that I should be having one too.)
Scenario Four. Working out a a new wordpress theme. And failing. Then winning.
Old me. Would have screamed at the husband to help me. Would have thrown the computer when I stuffed something up. Would have screamed at him for being in Bali. Would have left abusive skype messages for him to work out the wordpress codes.
New me. Posted on a forum for help and was helped by lots of lovely ladies. Went out and played in the park with my niece and nephew for a break. Had some afternoon sun and got back to to the blog.
Ate a pizza without feeling guilty or thinking I should weigh myself tomorrow.
Chatted to a friend. Had a cup of tea. And then enjoyed writing my first post on the new theme.
Life is much better without the old me.