As you know, I have written a lot about mental health in the past. My journey and my mum’s. It is something I will have to keep an eye on for the rest of my life, being susceptible to anxiety. Like having high blood pressure. While I’m in quite a good state of mental health at the moment, (aside from the ongoing stress of waiting for DVA to approve the husband’s surgery), it hasn’t always been like this. What I want to say to you, is that no state of mind stays with us forever. There are good days and bad days. Days when you feel on top of the world. Days when you feel like you are alone in the darkness. Even though you might feel like this feeling that you have is never going to end, hang in there, because it will move and shift and change like the tides.
Here are five posts I’ve written in the past to illustrate my journey. I hope they shed some light, and hope.
In March 2014 I wrote this post in about thirty seconds as a cry out for help (but I did not know this at the time). It was called Living with Light and Darkness. I was astounded at the number of people who really reached out to me. Was I okay? Did I need to speak to someone? Did I have a professional to speak to? It was only after writing this post that I realised that I could not do it on my own. As a social worker. This is hard to swallow.
In February 2015, after receiving treatment for my anxiety I wrote about the Things I Don’t Do Anymore Now I am not so anxious. I noticed that things were easier for me that I used to find so hard. I said yes to more things than no, I no longer cracked it about the cleaning and I let go of a lot of obsession about my weight. (Maybe too much so!)
In May 2015, I had an amazing moment of clarity and peace, reflected in this post, called A Moment, when I was freediving in El Nido, a place I had wondered about whilst sitting a year ago, looking through a travel magazine in the psychologists office. Had I really come this far? Was I really here? It was really the moment I realised that I finally felt like a different person.
In August 2015, I reflected on life on antidepressants. I weighed up the benefits and not so good things such as weight gain, in this post called Life on The Cray Cray Pills. I’m looking at coming off them in 2017, once The Ginger Hunk is through his surgery and life returns to normal. I feel like I have the balance, steady job, relationship in a good place again. That is the final thing to tick off the list.
Recently, this August, I wrote about 7 things I thought I would never do before. Being anxious sure took up a lot of my energy and thoughts. It prevented me from taking risks which have led to much happiness and love. Onward and upward from here.
How are you on your mental health journey?
If this post has brought up anything for you, please chat to your GP or visit BeyondBlue
Much Love, Ashleigh
