Love and marriage, love and marriage… I’ve been pondering such questions in the last few days. We are going through a wedding season of sorts. All kinds of marriages! New love marriages where the couple has been together for a few years. Old love marriages where the couple has been together, had two children and decided to get married after 10 years. And medium marriages, of couples in between.
On top of the wedding spurt, I’ve had mates who have had babies to partners, (non-married), who have told me that marriage doesn’t mean as much to them anymore, now they have children. As a non-parent married person I’ve always really wanted the commitment of marriage before I even thought about children. In fact, The Ginger Hunk and I actually forgot to have the children conversation when we met. I was just like YES. YES. YES. This is the Ginger Hunk for me. Five years on, I would perhaps do my wedding day a little differently, but would I want to stand up and commit to the Ginger Hunk in front of everyone we love again?
I agree that children is perhaps the ultimate commitment in life (as you can never get rid of them, like you can do a bad husband) but it’s not the only commitment. Relationships stand outside of a parenting partnership. The wedding I witnessed on Saturday was such a beautiful explosion of love, even after the trials of parenting and journeying through life for ten years. The wedding ceremony and vows were a testament to the couple, their love, the ups and downs, quirks and enduring qualities. We all felt like a community, part of their journey to this point. Very different to newer couples, who haven’t been on that ride yet, nor built their tribe of supporters, but are promising to get through it no matter what. Equally exciting promises I think, which ever way you look at it.
For me, I wanted the commitment of marriage with that special person in my life. It was important to me. To signify to the community around me, that this is my family now. That the Ginger Hunk and I are a team. Children or no children, cats or no cats, health, wellbeing whatever comes our way, we can deal with it. We will knock it down and take it on. He is my other half, and the person that knows me the best in my life. We might have been bright eyed and a little ignorant about what was going to challenge us in the future, but we faced it head on. Being married strengthened our relationship and our commitment to getting through these tough times. We are even thinking of renewing our vows in a few years time, just us and a bottle of champagne on the beach.
One thing I do know is that the path to love is different for us all, there is no right or wrong way to do this thing called love.
What about you?
Marriage or not?
Been to any cracker weddings lately?
Much love Ashleigh