Daily Life

A SILENT STAND OFF IN THE LADIES TOILETS

September 25, 2014

There are three toilet cubicles in the ladies bathroom in my office building.

Shared with another business, it is rare to get a moment alone in there.

I can’t help but notice that women seem scared to even make a pee pee noise in the toilet of late.

When you enter you take a vow of silence.

This is what happens.

I go to the bathroom. I sit down. I chillax to do my business. I then hear a little noise. I realise that SOMEONE is in the cubicle next to me, WAITING IN SILENCE, without making a going to the toilet related noise. They sit. Stealth like a commando. They do not make a peep. They do not want to be the one to break the vow. So we continue to sit. In silence.

It is a mexican silent stand off.

Who can be the most silent in the toilet whilst doing their business?

Who is going to break the seal?

Then ONE person, eventually flushes, makes awkward toilet paper scrunching noises and does their business.

OR they get up and walks out, pretending that they have finished their business and return at such a time when all three toilets are vacated.

What is with this?

IT IS A TOILET.

MEMO: A toilet is for pooing and weeing and hiding from your colleagues.

Isn’t it therefore acceptable to make noises which are related to such activity?

What do you do when there is someone in your communal bathroom?

A) Hold on till  the person leaves. 

B) Use the toilet freely, as if you were in your own home. 

C) Wait till they start, and then start your business once the silence is broken. 

D) Work toilet? No way am I doing my business in there. 

Is this type of silent stand off normal for your workplace?

What goes on in your communal bathroom? Anything of interest?

Perhaps the Japanese have the answer.

Did you know they have toilets that can play classical music?

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  • Sony Robson

    Ash a few years ago now, in my Social Work hat I found myself at a deaf school reunion. It was the noisiest toileting-making sounds room I have ever been in – and my most liberating wee ever! We could all learn a lot from these ladies. These days of course I’m happy to either be in the cubicle alone OR to finish my toileting requirements before small hands open the door and reveal all!

  • I must confess that I *do* suffer from performance anxiety when using toilet cubicles. Why the heck don’t they make them so that the partitions and doors are floor to ceiling! These days with the glossy tiles, you can even SEE what your neighbour is up to in the reflection. I think the Japanese have got the right idea!

    • Thankfully the toilets in my work do not have or glossy tiles. HOWEVER I was in a bathroom last night and it had floor to ceiling mirrors opposite the toilet! Yuck!