Last Sunday morning, I found myself sitting in a half circle of women hitting myself in the vagina while making a loud phlegm kind of gargling noise from the back of my throat.
I was ‘activating my red centre of female power‘ I was informed.
I don’t know if my red centre felt activated or if I just felt like an inflexible elderly lady. My skinny, bendy Yoga instructor in her fluro Dharmabums made it look kind of cool.
She made me WANT to find my red centre, wherever it was.
I am fairly new to practicing Yoga, so I did a quick poll this week and asked if anyone else had received any interesting advice in their yoga class.
A few of the top sayings are here:
“I drink your dirty bath water to become you” (chanted, at the end of the class).
and
“Pretend the block is your newest friend and squeeze him between your thighs”
I personally have never regretted turning up at a Yoga session despite the interesting advice I may have received.
I have been incorporating Yoga into my weekly training sessions for about a year now. I am not very good at it. I probably won’t get very good at it until I ditch the running and immerse myself fully into it as my main type of training, but I am not ready to do that yet. Maybe next year.
This is me. I look like a clumsy idiot.
This is what I wish I looked like. Waah.
My sister is bendy and stretchy and was good at gymnastics and skiing and netball. She will sing the praises of including a regular practice of Yoga in your life. She went through a bad break up in her twenties and sweated it out on the mat at Bikram.. and it was here that she found a new man who ended up being her husband!
I am not bendy or stretchy like my sister or good at anything in particular.
But I like a good Yoga class. It makes me FEEL my body.
It brings my swirling head back down to earth, allows me to sit with things that feel uncomfortable with, be present in the moment and learn to let go. It helps me realise what is tight and what is not. I always leave the class with a warm gooey feeling all over my body.
I spent a few weeks in Thailand in April, sweating it out in some glorious little yoga studios at beaches and in the blissful jungles. I was soon bendier and stretchier than I have been in a few years from doing a couple of hours of Yoga each day in the heat.
After hitting up the bike and run sessions for a while over winter it was not long until I felt like a 90 year old again trying to bend over to pick up something I had dropped.
I will not let it beat me!
I shall continue my bendy stretchy battle with myself over the summer months to come.
Do you have an uphill battle with Yoga?
Whats the weirdest thing that has happened to you on the Yoga Mat?
