Health & Wellbeing, Musings of sorts

Living with light and darkness

March 20, 2014

The darkness overtakes me sometimes.

I think I am an awful person.

Fat. Useless. Nothing.  Nobody.

I hate my job. It is not what I am meant for. I don’t know what I am meant to do instead.

I compare myself to others; how did she get that thin?

How did they afford that house/ holiday/ car?

Our apartment is not big enough. We will never have enough money. 

Why am I so far behind everyone else?

I look at my friends with children.

I am both completely envious yet at the same time exhilarated and grateful that my life is still mine and I can do what I please.

 I feel like time is slipping away from me each day and I haven’t got ‘there’ yet.

Although I am not quite sure where ‘there’ is.

Sometimes I feel like I am winning.

I am fit and healthy.

I am loved by friends and family.

I am bubbly, happy and smart.

I am a dreamer yet I conquer my goals.

I watch the sunrise over the ocean and walk with the sand between my toes.

I am married to a man who works with supermodels yet I wake next to him feeling like the most beautiful woman in the world.

I see his eyes sadden when the darkness takes over me.

There have been more dark days of late. 

I know the light will come again.

 

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