I share this post with you all because I have no filter when it comes to my on-goings on with anxiety (and let’s be honest, most other things). Last week for no valid reason I started to feel really irritable again. I have been pretty good, actually really good, for a while now, but last week I felt like I started to slip backwards into my old ways. When I go back to this kind of behaviour, The Ginger Hunk calls it (with a lot of love) ‘the crazy’, so please do not take offence to the use of this word.
I started with a pattern of deduction.
Was it the storm?
Was it living with my parents again for a week?
Was it the full moon?
I was not sure. But I just didn’t feel right.
First, I had a whopper of a headache. Felt sweaty. Couldn’t sleep properly. Not hungry (very unusual). I felt like I had a lot on my mind for no particular reason.
I was about to go and see my GP until I pulled out my anti-depressant packet to notice what was actually in there. PANADEINE. Unknown to me and possibly due to the moving back and forth the packet had been mixed up and I had been taking PANADEINE every morning this week instead of my usual half a dose of anti-depressant.
What an IDIOT. No wonder I felt the way I did!
I didn’t really notice what this magical little half a dose pill was doing for me until it was taken away. I was also so relieved that this was what was causing my issues.
I come from a long line of anxiety sufferers. For most of my life I have covered it up by throwing myself into things, racing around like a ferret on speed and always pushing myself onto the next thing.
I thought it was normal, until I realised I could live my life differently.
I have talked, meditated, talked some more, replaced endurance sports with yoga, taken up writing and had lots of amazing support from my husband and friends. This worked a treat for me until about a year ago.
With my GP, I decided that this low feeling in my gut just wasn’t kicking and it was time for some extra help.
I am sharing this post because;
a) I thought it was pretty funny that I was taking Panadeine without realising it and
b) I want to let everyone know how normal it is to have these issues. I should be able to talk about missing my morning anti-depressant like missing a vitamin.
I also wanted to say that after a heavy discussion about the Belle Gibson saga this morning that while the internet is a place of support and connection, it should never be a place where people recommend treatments if you are not a qualified person! I am probably more qualified than most to comment on mental health, when it comes to your own experience with anxiety (or anything else for that matter), please talk to a professional. Do not base your decisions on google or what people say on blogs. There is a myriad of evidence based treatments out there that work for different people.
If you want to chat to someone about anxiety, give the lovely humans at Beyond Blue a bell.
Our brains all work differently and respond to different things.
Have a great weekend and lest we forget.