Daily Life

A day in the life of a (non) productive freelancer

August 20, 2015

I dreamed once upon a time about having time to work as a freelance writer. I would spend my ‘writing day’ pumping out creative content, pitching pieces, meeting with people (while fitting in a yoga class and time with the husband). I would quickly become so busy in my freelance career with affiliate sponsorships and articles that I would soon have to reduce my days at work to work on creative projects that paid me a million dollars.

However, I am yet to master the art of productivity at home. Here is how the ‘freelance day’ goes.

4.50 am

Cat does the head run for food/ waking us up/ generally being annoying. Get up and give cat fancy feast. Make promise with self to go for a run or make it to 6.45 F45 training. Fall fast asleep.

7.54am

Wake up. Vow to exercise later. Fire up laptop with blog ideas in my head. Surf Facebook for 45 minutes. Look at cats on Instagram. Go into a dark hole and realise that there is a LIVE STREAM OF TINY KITTENS. How did I not know about this?

8.45am

The Ginger Hunk declares that we should go to the bakehouse. YES. Writers need coffee! We sit at the bakehouse and mull over the benefits the creative day we have together and aren’t we lucky not to go to work. Order one more coffee because why not?

10am

Decide that I have not done enough writing and I should give yoga a miss. Marvel at my self-discipline. Marvel at list of freelance pieces I am commissioned to write. Someone is paying me to write! Even though one piece is due in two weeks, I feel that all this information should be put into a list rather than commencing said article. Make excel spreadsheet of all my articles and ideas and due dates. Feel very professional.

10.54am 

Cat starts slapping my arm to go for a walk. The air will do us good. On our walk cat skulks between the fence at the back of the house and disappears. I hear my mother’s voice in my ear telling me that it was never smart to walk the cat without a leash. I realise how I can get to said cat. Scale the neighbours fence and come face to face with cat in the backyard. Cat bolts back through the fence. After 20 minutes of searching, I go upstairs to tell husband the news that I have lost the cat. Cat is at front door waiting to be let in, looking pleased like a serial killer.

11.45am 

Sit down to write. I realise I have a crink in my shoulder and decide I need to see the Osteopath right away. Ring the Osteopath who has an appointment in thirty minutes. AMAZING. Such luck!

12.30pm

Have adjustment. Feel wonderful. Creative ideas will surely come now!

13.10pm 

Whilst I am out I may as well stop at the Sushi train for a late lunch. It will be so much faster than eating at home. Enjoy 27 plates of Sushi and fall into a food coma. Decide to buy self flowers on the way home, (because flowers help writing).

14.30pm 

Return home, arrange flowers and sit on couch for 30 minutes. Cat sits on my lap for the first time in 30 years. I cannot move her because this will cause distrust and hatred. Ideas for stories drift into my head but I cannot get up due to said cat. We both fall asleep into a sushi induced purring coma.

15.45pm

Wake up shocked. Is it that time already? I realise I have not done any washing, or housework so this might be a good time to put a quick load on before I write my blog post. In the mean time, the cat does a massive shit and kicks the kitty litter all over the floor. I vacuum and take the opportunity to vacuum the whole apartment, because I love the Dyson so much. While I am at it, I may as well dust and do the windows.

16.54pm

Husband declares we need to get out of the house, because us creative people need to be around other humans. We end up at the pub down the road. By 6pm we have declared that we do not feel like cooking so takeaway is ordered.

7pm 

Takeaway time and couch snuggles.

We quickly fall into the rabbit hole of The Bachelor and True Detective. He will only watch one if I watch the other, so we have to watch both. (Fair is fair!) I scroll through my phone and respond to blog comments, and declare that “this week, writing day will be on Sunday!” and that “I am lucky to have such flexibility!”

9pm

Crawl into bed. Spend 30 minutes looking at Instagram pictures of my own cat.

Silently vow to be more productive in the future.

Are you a freelancer? 

HOW did you LEARN to be productive?

Is it really all the cats fault?

Ashleigh XXX

 

 

 

 

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  • Hahaha this sounds like me too – I occasionally take a day off work “to write” while the kids are at kindy and I generally get NOTHING done. I need a looming deadline to fire me into action!

  • Wendy

    I am with Karen – with said small person making all days feel unproductive. I did manage to put together a bookshelf the other day that said it required the help of another person – pfft to the that! I have a ginger child so similar to ginger hunk but mine is a princess (according to her)

    • Aww a ginger princess. So cute. I have ONE day to be productive and write because I work the other four days… so every day is not this luxurious… unfortunately…

  • mumabulous

    Freelancing – I gave it a half arsed go and gave up. Meanwhile I too have a ginger hunk but he would rather poke his eyes out with a fork than watch The Bachelor. He is however watching BattleStar Gallatica – there’s no accounting for taste. If there was the package would be called Zero.

    • I would do anything for a fork to end this pain right now…….

      -The Ginger Hunk

  • Haha…I blame the cat. She wakes you at 4:50…no one can get a good start after that! 😛
    On a serious note, I had my first Friday off {taking every second Friday off till Christmas to trial my productivity}. All I got done today — an interview for a profile I’m writing for a uni assignment {with the hope to pitch somewhere!} and then I got distracted by the cats, food, cats, buying books online, buying a wall planner {to try and be productive in future} and buying my 2016 diary inserts {again, productivity related but more likely to be procrastination!}

    • Wow diary inserts for next year? That is productivity. Or procrastination. It is 4.59 and I have finally turned my attention to my article. Written a scaffold and a word count for each section. There is a start! Cats and online shopping are a huge distraction! Yay for you taking every second Friday off! We can meet up at the cat cafe….

  • This all rings very true. Except no one pays me to write… It does sound like good quality time with your husband though, so that’s a plus. Good idea to each have to watch each other’s show. I might have to adopt that strategy.

    • James just said I am lying because I made him watch two Bachelors in a row. It is so good though like a train wreck.

  • Karen Bleakley

    Hahahahaha man I wish my day looked like that. I really do. Can we life swap for a couple of weeks? I’d give anything for an afternoon nap. ANYTHING. My days are mostly equally as unproductive, just in different ways (switch the word ‘cat’ for ‘small person’ and you kind of have it though.)

    • My cat is so naughty and high maintenance. I feel like my writing day is cat slave day. Although you are right. Could easily be replaced with kids!

  • Hugzilla

    HAHAHHAHHAHAHHA! This is brilliant!! I’m not gonna lie…. I’m in the middle of a sneaky Orange is the New Black binge session…. BAD FREELANCER!!!