Daily Life

Basic etiquette reminder 101

May 18, 2014

So many good suggestions about etiquette on my facebook page today here are my top 8 rants.. what else pisses you off?

When you receive a gift in the post 

Bother to pick it up from the post office.

Call your friend to say thanks.

When you have a wedding 

Send a thank you card (within a few months).

Do not have a kitchen tea, an engagement party and a hens weekend away.

Your friends will be bankrupt and bitch about you for months.

When you attend a wedding 

Do not go empty handed.

A gift does not have to cost a lot, but it is the thought that counts. I feel this is the same for birthdays and engagements. If it is a celebration of something, you should turn up with something.

When you are on the bus/ train

Stand up for pregnant chicks and elderly people.

Do not talk loudly on your phone.

If you are a man there is no need to sit with your legs WIDE open.

Join the back of the line at Wynyard ( don’t act like you don’t know where it starts).

Say thank you to the bus driver.

When you are in the lift 

Stand AT THE BACK if you are getting off at the top floor.

Do not sneeze, fart or look sideways at people.


If someone is pregnant.

Why they have not had a baby.

When you have a baby  

Please serve alcohol at your baby shower,  your child’s first birthday, christening and all events children related.

I am on the fence about a registry here. There has been some debate and a woman recently who emailed her friends who could not attend asking for gifts caused a major uproar.  While I am sure that the registry prevents someone receiving 27 muslin wraps I am not sure how I feel about it. Martha Stewart has a whole guide here.  In the olden days it was about the ladies sharing advice, rather than a gift giving frenzy.

When you go to someones house for dinner 

Do not take the half drunk wine home that you brought with you.

Do not turn up empty handed.

When you go for a run 

Ladies, wear a good bra  and

Men, put something over your skin shorts. Everyone does not want to see your junk as glorious as you think it might be.


What else pisses you off? Do you think we have lost basic etiquette in our society?

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  • Jac

    I think we will have to agree to disagree on this one Ash! X j

    • This is what the blog is for. Healthy debate 🙂 I would never turn up at anything without a present or a gesture and that’s just me and how I have been brought up. I do concur that it was Bridezilla of me to text the next day but I was actually a bit shocked at the number of people who had not given even a card and we really did think that things must have been missing. I have since learnt not to assume or expect these things as it is not what everyone does. The most meaningful thing I received on the day was not monetary but was a thoughtful card from my high school best friend that made me HOWL with tears when I read it. Love you Jac X

  • Jac

    On the other side, I think calling or messaging wedding guests the morning after your wedding day to follow up on their ‘missing’ wedding gift to you is bad etiquette. So I guess it goes both ways.

    • This is true and I have thought about this since. However, I do not think it is wrong to assume that people would have left a gift/ card in the first place (particularly immediate family) and James had just photographed a wedding a few weeks ago when a substantial amount of cash and gifts went ‘missing’ from the wishing well – we wanted to make sure the same had not happened to us.

  • On the baby shower thing – I once received an invite that said “no handmade gifts”. Rudest thing ever.

    • What???? What if you had been knitting something for 6 months! That is horrid!

      • I know, hand knitted booties and bonnets gifts are a rite of passage.

  • Oh you had me right up until the alcohol at kid events. Baby shower, sure – champagne is de rigeur for guests, but I think it’s entirely appropriate to ask people to BYO if they want to booze it up at a kid’s birthday party. Or even to abstain. I get that facing a pack of sugar-high kids isn’t easy or necessarily fun (particularly for child-free folks) but if you can’t cope for one or two hours without wine or beer, then maybe kids parties aren’t for you.

    • True. I suppose I notice this as I am in the ‘non baby’ phase of life but enjoy baking things and going to support my friends kids by going to their birthday parties. Having said that though, a wine for us non parental folk who don’t have little ones to chase around yet would be nice and would not go astray.

  • If you insist on wearing tights as pants (when you’ve been told that they’re not) please don’t wear white patterned undies – they show through.

    • Yes! I can’t stand the tights as pants thing. Also Ugg boots out of the house.