Daily Life

Day 5 – Letting Go

January 5, 2016

We are up to day five of my de-cluttering escapade. We are going through the whole house using the Marie Kondo method.

It’s actually kind of exciting. When we moved in we had no cash, and moved in with a clump of things from our parents and items we got from e-bay.

Now we are actually picking furniture, designing rooms and it is sort of exciting, like a new start.

We are both going to be working here in 2016, so we want the space to walk in and feel, ahhhh, creative and all that.

The categories so far have been pretty easy.

Yes. No. Throw. Keep. E-bay. Charity.

Today I got to the chest of memories that I have been avoiding for some time.

Notable items include:

  1. A whole hard drive of photos of the life I had (with my ex) for four years in London.
  2. Boxes of letters.
  3. Diaries of anguish, poetry and unrequited love from my grungy teen years.
  4. Valentine cards from ex’s.
  5. Letters to those I had never sent (mostly angry or pathetic.)
  6. Notable awards, (including the SUSSAN sales award for over $500, back in the year 2000).

As soon as I opened the box I felt a darkness wash over me. A lot of stuff has been shut away in there for a long time. I left my ex boyfriend quite suddenly in London. As if to validate the time we spent together, I hung onto it all. The letters and cards and photos. Although it was right in the end, for both of us really, I am not super proud of the way things happened. Sitting there in the darkness is the hard drive of photos from our years of Europe travel and London times, where I really formed some of the best friendships of my life.

Such a big time of growth and joy. Just sitting there. Those photos have never seen the light of day.

I took a deep breath and went through the box of items two to six first.

Laughter. Joy. Sadness. Tears.

The Ginger Hunk came and gave me some cuddles and we talked about what we would keep from our ex’s and why.

(This is why I LOVE him. I FREAKING LOVE HIM.)

I then cracked open a bottle of red to salute my former self and send things on their way that no longer serve.

At the end of the night, I kept some of the things that bring me joy, but threw out those that didn’t. Some stuff, like home made cards from my first ever boyfriend, and photos from back in the day make me smile. But some shit just makes me feel like shit. Like it did back when I wrote it.

And that needs to go.

That hard drive is being brought back to the computer, for the next phase of its life.

I have decided to make a photo book of all that adventure. Adventure brings me joy.

(Ex or not.)

The end result?

An empty chest, in both senses of the word.

I feel so much lighter.

IMG_20160105_195157

Anyone else going through a new year major clean out? 

What is your view on old love memorabilia? 

Much love,

Ashleigh XXX

 

 

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  • Oh that Ginger Hunk sounds like a big spunk and a keeper. It is a great feeling to toss the past away while keeping small reminders. Sounds like you have all you need together.

  • Hugzilla

    Aaaah yes, I remember doing something very similar with my angsty teenage diaries a few years back. I’d been holding onto them for years and even though there were lots of good memories in them too there was a lot of stuff that made me very unhappy to reflect back on. I burned those fuckers. And never looked back. It was liberating.