Musings of sorts, Relationships

My Sister

July 7, 2016

My sister and I were born five years apart. Which is a bloody long time when you’re little.

If you’re going to have kids to be friends when they are growing up, have them close together I say! (Rest assured we are making up for lost time now.)

She was always so much more grown up than me. Five years seemed like an eternity for me to wait for things until  “when you’re as old as your sister you can (insert cool thing here…) AN ETERNITY, I swear I waited.


Bridesmaid duties. Give me back that skinny arm!

I was so jealous of the many cool things she got to do before me. Choosing her own clothes, going to school formals, camps, going to the mall unaccompanied (a BIG DEAL in the 90’s), and going to parties with boyfriends. She was also naturally good at everything she put her mind to. Netball, gymnastics, swimming, you name it. My parents were driving everywhere on weekends to watch her play in various sports, sometimes at state-level. I plodded along behind her, trying all her things and  never being good at much. I was gumby at gymnastics. I twisted my ankle in netball. I was the 12th man on the cricket team. I couldn’t run to the corner shop or beyond, until the age of 25. (More about that here.)

Five years is a very big difference when you’re growing up. I was the annoying little sister. I fully admit that. My nephew asked me the other day, “did you and mummy play when you were little?”. “No” I replied. “I was a bit like Ivy”, (reference to his annoying little sister.)“Oh”, he says, his eyes widening in full understanding. We didn’t play, or even get along very much. There were fights over ice-cream scoops and jealousy over who got what, hair pulling, and all sorts. To me, she got to do everything first. But to her, I got the rules bent too much, being second time around and all.


M’s Hen’s night, in 2016 we seem to have swapped hairstyles!


A hug on a dancefloor, somewhere! We must find a dancefloor on our trip!

One day, we found ourself together at a festival, separately. I was 22 and she was 27.  Finally, we were on the same page in life. We had been through university. She had been travelling. We were on very different career paths. We were in different places in life but stood together finally as equals. And suddenly, we realised that we were not in competition anymore. We were the same. Since that day, I have had her by my side, to navigate the small and big things in this life as we journey to mid-adulthood. Navigating relationships, weddings, sharing our lives with ginger men, work stuff, body goals, travel dreams and looking after our parents as they age. She has given me a beautiful nephew and niece and I have watched her turn into the most amazing mum.


My dirty 30 dress up party!

We are the same but so very different.

I could not navigate this messy life without her by my side.

What’s your relationships with your brother or sister? 

Do you have feuding children? I hope this post evokes some hope! 

Love you M, bring on Vietnam!

XXX Ashleigh XXX

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  • I’m an only child and I love it so. But I always wondered what it would be like to have a sibling! I love how you and your sister have grown into your relationship, what a special bond you both have 🙂

  • I completely get what you said about the age gap issues growing up. I’m 7 years older than my sister. Completely different chapters. It is only now that I have moved closer to home and at the age of 35, her 28, that we are truely sisters.

  • I have two sisters, one is 2 1/2 years younger, the other 5 years younger. It used to drive me berserk that privileges I fought long and hard for, the other two got usually within months of me getting them! Love my sissies they are my best friends x

  • Aww lovely post. Reminds me of some of the posts I’ve written to my sister. My sis and I are also 5 years apart — the difference is I’m the older one. So I kinda get where your sister is coming from 😉 Like you and your sis, we didn’t get along as much when younger — I always thought she had the easy way out and to be honest, she got to do things way before I did {like I went to the movies with family the first time at 11…she did at 7!} But we started getting along probably when she was around 14 or so. I left India a day before her 16th birthday and I still remember she was devastated. My initial plan had been to leave three days after but due to flight issues, I had to change the dates. Since I’ve come here, we’ve seen each other four times in the last 11 years. Thank goodness for technology though…I’d have gone crazy otherwise. She’s the one I go to if I’m struggling with things and vice versa. She’s in Canada and while we are quite different in many ways, we are also similar. I must say, I’m so grateful to have a sister! Just as you are 🙂

    P.S. I had written a couple of humorous posts a while ago on ‘you know you are a first-born’ and ‘you know you are the younger child’ based on things parents or society tells us! 😛