Ending a relationship with your hairdresser, beautician, dentist, physiotherapist or personal trainer is always awkward. It’s never going to be a good time. Because you are taking your money which is funneling into their business elsewhere.
Because they are so passionate about that ‘thing’ that they do, they often think that their way is the best way. That only they hold the key to your perfect hair, teeth or body. And no doubt you have shared much personal information and asked for advice over that wax, two hours in the hair salon or that awful work out.
Things can get tetchy when you decide to take a new road.
This week I tried to break up with my boot camp coach by telling it like it was, and gave lots of notice, and HONESTY. She wasn’t impressed. She tried to educate me from the rooftops the benefits of strength training for runners. This I know. But how much time in the week do I have? And money? I LOVED boot camp over the summer, when I got my moneys worth by dedicating three mornings a week to it. When it was WARM!
On the return to running last month I found I could not fit in, three runs, two strengths and one yoga and Pilates, the occasional swim, go to work, maintain a life and not become bankrupt.
I decided to be honest and tell her I was going to give it a miss for a couple of months and focus back on my running and triathlon.
My request to opt out was responded to with articles on the benefits of weight training, being told that Pilates does not work (yes it does) and that yoga does nothing much either. Maybe not as much as boot camp, but I ENJOY yoga, and it is doable in my lunch break.
I did enjoy that boot camp. And I did feel very strong and fit. And I MAY have returned next summer but the kind of weird guilt ridden break up did leave me with a bit of a sour after taste in my mouth.
I tried to do the right thing by letting her know that for now my priorities were going elsewhere. I ended up feeling like I had an affair and that I had let her down. This is the SAME feeling like when you get a replacement beautician and you like her eyebrow shape better than your regular person.
I thought about other break ups I have had with my entourage of beauty and health gurus over the years and I realised I am not very good at ending these relationships.
I have realised that I deal with moving on usually by using the tactic of Houdini abandonment.
I ABANDONED my long-term hair dresser after I got a mortgage to find a cheaper option. (Paul if you are reading this you are the best hair cutter on earth and I love you, I just could not afford you AND my mortgage.)
I abandoned the physio that told me I needed 587 appointments to fix myself, and went to the Osteo that told me he wanted to make me better so we didn’t have to see each other every week anymore .
I left the bleeding mouth murdering dentist for a more gentle one (who does not make me bleed like a vampire).
I ditched the late GP to find a new one (who I discovered is also late but very thorough).
All without notice. And without REASON or FEEDBACK. Because I felt SO guilty. But I had valid reasons for moving on. Money, (or lack of), feeling like I was not progressing, having my mouth bleed and waiting for 500 hours in the waiting room (to then feel not listened to.) Why do we find it so hard to give HONEST feedback?Giving a REASON as I found out with the boot camp experience left time with the coach to bargain and banter and make me feel MORE and MORE guilty about my decision to leave.
On the reverse side my kind massage lady told me when she was leaving for QLD . My lovely facial woman told me when she was going to leave the beauty industry to teach meditation. I was sad but supported them with their move onward and found new people.
What is the easiest way to tell your healthy, beauty, hair and fitness people that you are ready to move on?
Is there a right way or a wrong way?
How do you expect them to react?